The more I worked with people who struggled with emotional and relationship problems the more I became aware of the close relationship between self-esteem and mental health.
Over the years I have gradually developed the concept of other-esteem that is intimately connected with self-esteem. In my opinion, self-esteem is that part of esteem that a person creates himself or herself. On the other hand, other-esteem is that esteem that depends on others.
Many people that I have worked with who had serious emotional problems had low self-esteem and high other-esteem. Because of low self-esteem they also had low self-confidence and poor self image. In addition, they struggled with initiating and maintaining close friendships and healthy intimate relationships because they were emotionally oversensitive to other people’s opinions and criticisms. They easily felt ignored, neglected and rejected, and were also nervous to resolve conflicts as they did not want to offend or hurt others. The more they tried to protect their relationships, the more they became victims of misunderstandings. That is why they could only maintain a few superficial relationships at one time.
In therapy, I encourage them to become involved in activities that they enjoy and are good at. Doing things that you are good at improves self-esteem.
It is my observation that people with high self-esteem and low other-esteem are generally self-assured and have a positive self image. They listen to other people’s opinions but are not negatively affected by them. If there is any misunderstanding with their dear ones they feel self assured to share their concerns and are able to resolve their interpersonal conflicts gracefully and peacefully. Because of their high self-esteem, they not only like themselves they are also able to create a circle of close friends and establish healthy intimate relationships.
I have come to the conclusion that Green Zone People have high self-esteem while Red Zone people have high other-esteem.