Month: April 2016

This will be my last week as a Guest Writer for the Blog, at least for a while! I have enjoyed my time so much! Dr. Sohail will return but the weeks coming will be very exciting as we have invited others to contribute as Guest Writers as well, so stay posted!

So for this week’s topic… I want to borrow an idea from the work environment that is a very valuable tool in relationships, and that is booking protected time for the business and fun of your relationships. In my personal life and in my work with couples, I suggest a Date Night and what I call The State of the Union Meeting. If you are not just focusing on your individual relationships but are part of a family, we recommend having a regular, usually weekly, Family Dinner and Family Meeting.

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Michael had been brutally beaten on the streets when he was a child. Not surprisingly, when he was a teenager he began to hit back. He became a fighter and a powerful boxer. But as an adult, he grew to be a lover, a friend, a devoted husband and an inspiration.
A year ago this week we lost a dear person who many people at our clinic loved.He was a role model in our Thursday morning Grouptherapy.  Recently his beloved wife brought in the poem below. It was a worn laminated poster that, for many years, had a place of honor on the bulletin board in our Group Room. She said, “I think Michael had given this as a gift to the Group and I wanted to bring it back here! ”

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As promised some time ago, we are going to look at some of the Green Zone tools that we recommend to be used within our relationships. We will certainly come back to focusing on the individual because that is the way we grow – working a little on bringing ourselves to the Green, then bringing our relationships to the Green and then we give some attention to the systems in which we exist, and then come back to the self again.   So here we go!

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This week let’s move on to another one of my very favourite Green Zone concepts. Definitely, a central strategy in my Policy Manual, I see it as a bit of emotional magic! And our clients and our readers have also found it quick, easy and powerful. It is a concept called the Emotional Raincoat.

The Emotional Raincoat is a symbolic term for the problem-solving strategies that help protect or buffer the tension of a recurring Yellow or Red Zone situation. The strategies are designed to be specific to a situation and are best when planned in advance.

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